I wish we would have been taught at school, more than anything else, to feel.  To feel all the range of emotions, feelings, sensations and whatever else flows through our being.

I meet more and more people who are working so hard on not feeling,

Giving all it takes to change what’s going on inside them,

Or who are just filled  with self-hatred simply for feeling certain emotions.

How many of us experienced in our childhood  we were not allowed to be sad, angry, disappointed?

How many times were you told: “stop making this or that up” or “you are only beautiful when you smile – so stop crying”?  or any one of the many versions of diminishing sayings?

The adults (who once were these children) experience over and over the distress of forbidden feeling they cannot ignore.

Every single  time a feeling arises from within, the distress appears immediately, inseparably the moment the feeling shows up.

At this point we all have our different strategies and ways of dealing with the distress, but those all share a goal – to avoid, prevent or dodge this feeling as fast and as far as we can, especially if it is an unpleasant one.

Will you allow yourself at times to be a little moody?

Will it be possible for you to not panic because you are cranky?

Maybe it’s ok to be longing for a loved one who is far from you?

How about simply feeling, and then staying with that feeling?

How about simply feeling without having to explain where it came from, or judge yourself for being over dramatic,

Without declaring yourself  weak or rotten?

All I would wish for the children we once were is to be able to whisper in their ear softly:

“It is ok, I understand, I see how hard it is now. It is real what you are feeling right now, and I am here with you. You are not alone; you are allowed to feel.

That’s all.

After letting ourselves be with what comes up, then we can go back to being the parents, partners, responsible, smart, mature adults we are.

Should we give it a try?